Some cunt has got in the way

As the wind whistles through the broken window of Sylvie the Honda Civic, and shameless bastards interrupt the latest episode of Fish At The Wheel by texting, Martin Fish tells the tale of Joan the Legless Dancer, the Fish Brothers mascot he first met in a skip. Becoming a beloved member of the Fish Brothers stage show, Joan is immortalised in song, getting the band into some 'armless trouble on the East Slope after they drink the bar dry. Martin rambles on to the band’s cake-caked comedy club audition before he remembers another thing he found in a skip: The Wanking Tapes...

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Some cunt has got in the way

Van Der Valk

It is not only Germany where The Fish Brothers have wreaked havoc. Here Martin Fish remembers what he can of expeditions into Holland and Belgium, his memory of events clouded by strange accents and large quantities of weed. As the band struggles to consume giant bags of grass, even Attila the Stockbroker falls under the influence when The Fish get totally smoked. A disappointing visit to the Manneken Pis in Brussels is vastly improved by a tour of the Stella factory, but the band get lost on their return to Holland. They are saved by the heroism of Van Der Valk, a passing local, who guides them through the “shitty ring” -- and so, in a Fish At The Wheel first, Martin performs a live tribute to the band’s Patron Saint of Clogland.

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Van Der Valk

Attila and the three Tims

After encountering punk poet Attila The Stockbroker (aka Throbbin of Southwick), The Fish Brothers reshuffle themselves into his backing band, Barnstormer, and embark on a series of drunken raids into Germany in Elliot's mobile zoo (portalav but please don't poo). On their adventures they encounter a set of unrelated Tims: Tim O'Tay the nobfluter, Tim Hero the provider, and Tim Hero-God the producer. They then find themselves starring in a German feature film during a total eclipse, which grants them access to the Das Boot submarine and the set of Neverending Story.

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Attila and the three Tims

Who's been wanking in my porridge?

As The Fish Brothers awake, ready for their tour of the Channel Islands, the shocking news comes through that Diana, Princess of Wales, has been killed in a car crash. Arriving on an island in mourning, the band find the audiences oddly unreceptive: "Everything we play is 'sad'." In an effort to cheer themselves up, the blundering fools take a trip to Jersey Zoo, only to discover Gerald the wanking bear, who reveals his talents before a crowd of onlooking schoolchildren and a Hobbit park ranger. Gerald becomes the inspiration for the band's take on one of the most famous songs of all time. Here, for the first time, is the full story behind the inspirational tune "Gerald Durrell's Spectacled Wanking Bear".

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Who's been wanking in my porridge?

Easily Better Than You

While The Fish Brothers have always been (and are destined to remain) bottom feeders, they've occasionally rubbed fins with the rich and famous. As Sylvie the silver Civic rumbles southwards with Martin Fish at the wheel and the Producer as co-pilot, gasp at tales of Audioweb's smelly mics, get totally smoked with Alabama 3, and learn the colour of Howard Marx's face. This podcast also features further lurid tales including Fatty being assaulted by Eddi Reader, band regrets over not buying Snow Patrol's gorilla outfit, and what makes Jo Brand ungrateful.

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Easily Better Than You