Simon Cowell gets his first whiff of Fish

The murky origins of The Fish Brothers can be traced back to a talent competition held at Brighton's Zap Club in the 1980s, where Martin and Tim Fish revealed the effects of vodka on Madonna songs and invented a dance craze that never caught on. In this episode of Fish At The Wheel, Martin recalls the star searches and talent shows the band has graced, mostly along the coast in Worthing. Join him as he spares a thought for the fate of Cliff Wisdom and shakes a fist at The Findon Village People, while McGhee fixes the clapometer to guarantee victory and Tim O'Tay eats sandwiches live on stage. Then the big break seems to finally arrive when the band are invited to perform on Britain's Got Talent and Martin manages not to flash his nob at the judges for a change.

Click to play:
Simon Cowell gets his first whiff of Fish

Some cunt has got in the way

As the wind whistles through the broken window of Sylvie the Honda Civic, and shameless bastards interrupt the latest episode of Fish At The Wheel by texting, Martin Fish tells the tale of Joan the Legless Dancer, the Fish Brothers mascot he first met in a skip. Becoming a beloved member of the Fish Brothers stage show, Joan is immortalised in song, getting the band into some 'armless trouble on the East Slope after they drink the bar dry. Martin rambles on to the band’s cake-caked comedy club audition before he remembers another thing he found in a skip: The Wanking Tapes...

Click to play:
Some cunt has got in the way

Easily Better Than You

While The Fish Brothers have always been (and are destined to remain) bottom feeders, they've occasionally rubbed fins with the rich and famous. As Sylvie the silver Civic rumbles southwards with Martin Fish at the wheel and the Producer as co-pilot, gasp at tales of Audioweb's smelly mics, get totally smoked with Alabama 3, and learn the colour of Howard Marx's face. This podcast also features further lurid tales including Fatty being assaulted by Eddi Reader, band regrets over not buying Snow Patrol's gorilla outfit, and what makes Jo Brand ungrateful.

Click to play:
Easily Better Than You

Sensible's shoes

It's raining again as Mr. Fish drives back towards Warninglid and recalls the many fine individuals who have played bass for the Fish Brothers over the years. Beginning with the legendary bass player for The Damned, Captain Sensible, Martin moves on to how Les came to be known as Pubshitter, what put the wind up Ste's kilt, the future of Blonde Wanton and how Baby David was obliged to defend his honour from the advances of Tommy Twinkle. After a digression on the initiation ritual that all Fish Brothers bass players have had to endure, the podcast ends with Didacoi Downs, Martin's musical tribute to another long-serving bass Fish, Chuffa Charnsworth.

Click to play:
Sensible's shoes

Vanarchy in the UK

In this episode, Martin talks about every band's essential mode of transport and occasional accommodation -- the van -- and pays tribute to The Duke, owner/driver of The Fishtank and later The Aquarium. The Fish Brothers' uncomfortable sleeping conditions while on tour with The Levellers lead to a bet, won under unfortunate circumstances. The Duke arranges for a large cannon to be discharged at The Brighton Centre and the fire alarm goes off in Brixton Academy. Martin loses his glasses in a van full of Stella and the podcast ends with the consequences of not paying attention at the petrol station.

Click to play:
Vanarchy in the UK

A shit fit for a king

Over the squeak of the windscreen wipers, Martin recalls the problems The Fish Brothers have had finding places to stay while on tour. After bringing happiness to the bedsit of Dr South and witnessing the amazing abilities of The Puke Maiden, the band are led astray by an accommodating young lady. Memories of a triumphant gig at Leicester Grabme Balls follow fond thoughts of the Sheffield Shit and the continental shelf system, and the podcast ends on a historical note with a tribute to the keeper of King Henry VIII's stools.

Click to play:
A shit fit for a king

Have you ever seen a pop star when he's naked?

In this, the very first episode of Fish At The Wheel, Martin Fish recalls how in the early days of his first band Salad From Atlantis, everyone took their clothes off and Dave ate rabbit shit for a bet. After a smelly story about a credit card, Martin moves on to the tale of what happened when the Fish Brothers were locked into a bar without toilets after a gig in Germany.

Click to play:
Have you ever seen a pop star when he's naked?